You made me eat Funyuns

You know who you are. You with your whinny voice and your absolutely pointless word vomit you spew around my store. Why do you ask have you pissed me off to the point that I HAD to eat funyuns? Well, let me tell you.

“You should have clipboards. You don’t have clipboards. You know, you should sell clipboards. You know? They would sell. How come you don’t sell clipboards?”

“…..we do sell clipboards….”

“Oh, they’re new? Aren’t they new? You never had them before? Why did you just get them?”

“…..always had them….”

“Oh, so they are new? That’s good. It’s good you got them in because you didn’t have them before”

Get out of my store.

Oh, and just for shits and giggles – what about this wonderful customer.

“Do you have this book because I couldn’t find it anywhere online or in any bookstore I went to and then I was like, oh, I wonder if my school’s bookstore would have it but I didn’t know if that was the type of stuff you would have – you know, books for my class. Do you have those?”

I so wish I was kidding.